wonders and reflections in God's presence

My parents have just put their house on the market.  It is the house I grew up in.  My earliest memories include playing in the dirt piles as the house was being built.  We moved in just before my brother was born in 1963.  There were horse farms and chicken farms on that part of Long Island then and lots of woods in which to build forts and play cops and robbers.  The expressway didn’t come out that far yet, and our hamlet was the last regular stop of the Long Island Railroad.  My grandparents lived next door, and my Dad was born in the old hospital there only a couple blocks away.  I lived in that house for 16 years before going away to college; then I’d come back to visit at least a couple of times a year.  Over the last 40 years, that community changed from small town to New York City suburb; I moved to Pennsylvania, Kentucky, Ohio, Michigan and Texas.  And in the midst of all that change, my New York “home” was the pride and stability in my life.  Now, as my parents prepare to sell the house and move to Texas, I feel pangs of grief.  Usually, I’m one who embraces newness; I get bored with the same old same old.  But that house has always been there just as it was, and it hurts to think of losing that tangible source of security.

I have a sense that’s how so many of us feel about our churches.  Life whizzes by us at ever accelerating speeds, and our church offers us stability through it all.  Our church stays the same when jobs change, when kids grow up and move away, when we get ill or when loved ones die.  Through all of life change – Church keeps us steady.  So, when a pastor suggests that we change our order or worship, the music we sing, or even move to a new building, we feel pains of grief and anger.  No!  It’s like selling the old house we grew up in.

Stability in faith doesn’t come from meeting in the same building, worshipping with the same people, or singing the same hymns.  Real security doesn’t come from holding on to the past, but from surrendering to the winds of the Spirit as we move into the future.  At a conference recently at Grace Presbyterian, Reggie McNeal reminded us that God is already planning for the future.  God is already at work ushering in His kingdom in new and changing ways.  The question is – is the church willing to go where God is leading?  Do we have enough faith to give up the old and allow God to create the new?  Can we really trust that if we let go and let God, God will provide for us?

On the day my parents signed the contract to build a new house in Pflugerville, we shared dinner at The Melting Pot in Austin.  As we dipped our bread into the cheddar cheese fondue, I looked across the table into my father’s eyes and asked, “Are you really ready for this, Dad?”  And with an uncanny sense of both human vulnerability and spiritual strength, he looked back lovingly and confidently, “A year ago I would never have believed I would be moving away from my life-long home, but I have a strong sense the Spirit is in this.”  He went on to explain that if he stayed, he felt his spiritual growth would become stagnant and, in effect, his life would be done.  He is confident that God is leading him into a future filled with possibility, growth, and a new life.  “Are you scared?”  I asked.  “Of course I’m scared.  I just signed a contract on a $250,000 home without having sold the old house yet.  But I’m sure that God is in this, and that gives me a deep peace about it all.”

I am so proud of my Dad and my Mom.  I don’t need a house on Long Island to give me strength … I have my parents, and they have me.  And, together, we rely on God, and we live confidently into the future God is unfolding and we help shape together.

This will be printed in the April 2006 issue of Connections, a publication of the Presbytery of New Covenant.

(from my xanga)

I have never seen the city more crowded than it was yesterday. I feel so bad for Rahel. Everything she wanted to do … the lines were prohibitive … a three hour wait to buy the ticket for the ferry to Liberty Island, and then another four hour line to get on the boat! Unheard of … the line went out of battery park and was reaching up to wall street! There were lines to get into stores, and even to just to look at the windows of Saks Fifth Avenue. Remind me … never visit New York City during Christmas week again. All in all, we had a day filled with seeing some of the sights … from a distance at least. We waited at the tip of battery park for the circle line ferry to pull away so we’d get a decent view of the backside of miss Liberty. We walked from the South Street Seaport to Battery Park by way of the World Trade Center Site. I enjoy seeing how it changes every time we’ve seen it … new construction, etc. It looks like the subway station there is scheduled to open in February 2006. Four and a half years … and finally the subway will be open.

Then we subwayed up to Times Square … bought tickets to see Andrew Lloyd Weber’s new musical The Woman in White, after finding out the only tickets for Spamalot were $350 per person. The weather was cold, but not unbearable. We walked up Fifth Avenue, to the park, past Saks and Tiffanys and Cartiers and FAO Schwarts. Then back down 6th Avenue and across 47th Street to meet my parents at the Olive Garden for dinner.

The show was surprisingly good … the music was good, but not particularly varied. The story is set in Victorian England and it is somewhat of a mystery. Somewhat “dark” but the story keeps you involved. The most amazing part was the set. Relatively simple in design, the set changes took place through projected images on the circular walls. Between the moving of the movie images, and the rotation of the stage, the set changes were remarkable. There was even a place where the train came by and I jumped to the right to avoid being hit (or so I was convinced). All in all, it was a good show.

Today we sleep in. We have no plans … and I am pretty sore from the walking yesterday.

I know that Dwayne and Rahel already mentioned it, but if you haven’t had a chance to see the new movie version of The Producers, treat yourself today. We went on Monday and it was great. We haven’t laughed that much or that loud in a long time. It was helped by the fact that the theater was full of people responding. I know it’s a good show when the audience applauds for a movie …. that’s always a good sign. Oh, and like they said, take the time and stay to the end of the credits … you’ll be glad you did.

(from my xanga)

Thank you all for supporting Eklektos … we had a wonderful time of worship last night. I really felt the presence of God. Thank you. Thank you.

We are leaving in a while for New York … Dwayne’s bringing his computer, so I’m sure we’ll log on daily. See you next year! Merry Christmas!