wonders and reflections in God's presence

So, we’re going to have a Derby Party … I don’t think we’ve had one since moving to Texas. We lived in Louisville, KY, while I went to seminary, so we know the excitement of watching the two-minute race … and partying the whole week before!

Anyway, I plan on making some Kentucky Burgoo … which is really just stew or Kentucky gumbo. I’ll also make some Derby Pie (pecan, chocolate chip pie with Bourbon!) and Mint Juleps … oh, and some Bourbon slush (a whole lot better than mint juleps).

The party starts at 3:00 pm on Saturday, May 5. The race starts around five o’clock our time (6:04 EDT). We’ll pick a horse and root loud during the race … and other than that, well, we’ll just enjoy the beautiful (I hope) day, the pool and the hot tub. Y’all are invited! Just email me or call to let us know you’re coming. If you need directions, we’ll send you a map.

Oh … and don’t forget to admire our new artwork while you’re here.

Anyone up to a viewing of our cruise art (yes, just about all of the pictures … at least the ones we care most about … are here) and a Derby Party?  (the horse race, not the hat)

Since I went to seminary in Louisville KY, we can do it right … watch the 2 minute race, drink mint julips and bourbon slush, eat Burgoo (that’s Kentucky gumbo) and Derby Pie .. and party.

After preaching at the First Presbyterian Church of Wharton this morning, Dwayne and I went to see the pastor in a production at the Wharton Plaza Theater.  The show was “Daddy’s Dyin’ (Who’s Got the Will?)”, an incredibly funny story about a small town Texas family reunion as they deal with the imminent death of the father.  Debbie, my friend and colleague, played the part of Mama Wheelis, the mother-in-law and family matriarch.  She did a fantastic job!

We didn’t know until we showed up at the theater that the show was written by Del Shores.  Last year, I was acting in a later play by the same playwright … see pictures here … and some about the show here.  The allusions and similarities were striking … fiddlin’ with the air conditioner, family reunion at a death, references to the Piggly Wiggly, and the neighbor/friend who kept calling on the phone … even the characters in “Daddy’s Dyin’” had parallels in “Sordid Lives.”  The experience brought back lots of memories.  I enjoyed both the production and the memories … thanks Debbie … thanks Wharton.

There was this dead tree in our flowerbed … Dwayne kept hoping it would spring back to life, but I knew it was dead. Afterall, half of it never came back to life last year … it was time to take it out and plant a new tree. Without the tree, it looks bare, no height to add interest to the flowers around the pool. So today we bought a small (small enough to fit in the back of our Xterra) crape myrtle to plant.

Earlier this week, when I was at Camp Cho-Yeh, I saw a bottle brush bush that I fell in love with. It was blooming heartily in front of the conference center. Today, we also bought two of those bushes and planted them next to the crape myrtle … I hope I don’t kill them. The picture was taken in My Backyard this evening.

We also bought three purple plants to plant around the rose bush … and four big tall flowering plants (sorry, I don’t remember the name) which we planted in a half-circle to hide some ugly utility access boxes on the other side of the yard. They should fill in nicely around there … the flowers were so tall, though, that one was broken in the car on the way home … three others were broken on the way out the pot and into the ground … so I put a painter’s tape “cast” on them, hoping that the stems will heal and the flowers will continue to thrive.

I really don’t have a green thumb … I wish I did, because I love the plants. At least with the picture, I’ll remember.

We were so tired after planting, that we jumped into our pool, then the hot tub, then ate our favorite grilled steaks … it’s been a wonderful day!

I’m 46 years old, and I still feel like a child inside. Mostly, I don’t feel any different inside than I did when I was 16. I’m even going through hormonal things again … Most of the time I make pretty rational and smart decisions, but not always … Sometimes I make rash decisions, impulsive ones (especially at art auctions or in the presence of chocolate), I even make dangerous ones (like not always wearing my seatbelt). But, by most all measures, I am an adult and need to pay the consequences for my decisions … good and bad. I have the right to make those stupid, rash, and impulsive decisions, because of my birthdate. The Chinese, I was told, consider a person a “youth” until they are 40 years old. So even in China … I’m old enough.

But when does one become “of age” in America? In some traditions it’s sweet sixteen or the quinceanera, the bar mitzvah or marriage.

My daughter is 17 and living 431 miles away. For most of her decisions … she’s on her own. Dwayne and I prepared her for this all of her life … beginning with making decisions over which clothes to wear or which cereal to eat. For us, the right of passage, was high school graduation and the decision to go away to college. We, her parents, decided (with her, of course) that she was ready … ready to make day to day decisions on her own. And, in a few more months, she’ll be able to make decisions that effect our politics and government … she’ll have the right and privilege to vote in this year’s election.

OK .. so college years are often a “half-way house” into adulthood. She makes all of her day to day decisions, but we are still paying tuition/room and board, and she seeks our advice on the big decisions (like whether or not to live off campus next semester). It’s supposed to be a fairly safe place to put the finishing touches on “growing up.” Of course, we all know … we have no safe places, we cannot guarantee anyone’s security or safety … life is risky. .. but I’m getting off track …

Here’s where I’m going … the Texas State Senate passed a bill today which would ban smoking until the age of 19.

So, when does one become “of age” and able to make responsible or rash decisions for oneself? 17 to appear in traffic court without a parent; 14-16 to be tried as an adult in court; 18 to sign legal documents, serve in the armed forces, and vote; 17 to decide to join the armed forces; 18 to marry (without parental permission) and make medical decisions for yourself; 21 to drink alcohol and gamble (and even to check into some hotels); 25 to rent a car, but 16 to drive one. 35 to run for president. Oh, and how old does one have to be to be a parent?

I understand trying to save young people from harmful decisions … smoking, let’s face it, is a bad habit. But, if it’s bad for 19 year olds, isn’t it also bad for 29 year olds? It makes much more sense to me to put a ban on how old one has to be to parent a child, than to smoke a cigarette or cigar.

We need to educate and prepare men and women to make informed choices about drinking, smoking, having sex, being a parent, getting married, signing contracts, investing money, using credit cards, driving a car, buying a handgun, playing the lottery, joining the army and/or voting in the next election. If we can’t agree on an age … how about an event like high school graduation or entering the job market? And if something is a “bad choice” for all 18 or 19 year olds … maybe we need to ban it completely?

Ugh … all of this, because is some ways, I just feel like a child today.

I am now home, and enjoying every minute.  I have spent the last seven days “on retreat” in one form or another.  Wednesday through Sunday I was staffing Houston Presbyterian Cursillo #45; and since Monday I was with 50 or so other pastors of the presbytery “relaxing” … although, as presbytery staff, I still have to work when I’m there … I have to admit, I loved the laughter, the talks, the massage, and the coloring.

As an introvert who has learned to behave appropriately extroverted, though, home is the best retreat for me.  It’s quiet … it’s comfortable … and it’s safe.  There are things here, memories here, that bring me great joy.  I can just sit in the backyard … or play the piano … or well, do absolutely nothing.  I’m really glad to be home for awhile ..

The first, and most treasured, of the artwork we bought on the cruise arrived late last week … tonight we’re going to rearrange some furniture so we have a place to hang it in the living room.  It’s much bigger than I remembered … or our house is much smaller than I remembered … anyway, it will look good.

My friend suggested that when all of the art has arrived and has been hung, we should have a “viewing” … complete with wine, cheese, and hot tub.  I like that idea.