don’t stand between a man and his frappuccino

To my friends who work at Starbucks ….

this was posted on my colleague’s son’s blog ...

DON’T STAND BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS FRAPPUCCINO: A play,
in one act. Setting: a Starbucks inside a Barnes and Noble on the Upper
West Side this weekend, staffed by a single barista. Your faithful
blogger was the person behind customer in line.

Customer: I’d like a piece of cheesecake.
Barista: We have (insert ridiculous number) of varieties of cheesecake. Which kind would you like?
Customer: (hemming and hawing)
Barista: (description of various types of cheesecakes)
Customer: I’ll just take a plain slice.
Barista: (fetches slice in laborious manner) Anything else?
Customer: Yes, a cup of tea.
Barista: What kind of tea?
Customer: I just don’t know.
Barista: (enumeration of various types of tea)
Customer: Earl Grey.
Barista: (prepares cup of tea) Anything else?
Customer: I think I’d like a latte.
(At this point, faithful blogger begins eyerolling.)
Barista: What size?
Customer: A large.
(An extensive colloquy about Starbucks sizing follows. Faithful blogger moves from eyerolling to add impatient foot-tapping.)
Customer: A tall, then.
Barista: And what kind of milk?
Customer: I just don’t know…

(Faithful blogger decides to move to more productive endeavors, such as beating his head against the wall.)

And….scene!